Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Iskra Spirit...

aaaarrrgghhh!i am so sick of people. i hate living here with a bunch of toads as relatives who all go behind my back telling each other how bad i am. their biggest fear (or hope?) is my boyfriend (?) with whom im having a hot affair . anytime a male friend calls, oh! there it goes again.

i feel like telling them that i do infact have boyfriend(s) and am a slut. besides even if i ever do, i do not think i would need to ask a bunch of smelly hags about it.

and then there are those who are your loved ones...friends,etc.. people who turn to you for help. who claim they never want to hurt you. yet they keep doing things that do infact HURT! they do not do it conciously which is worse. it just goes to show how little they understand and know you.

when i'm angry, i yell. when i'm hurt i am not able to do or say anything. but can those who love you, whom you trust and care about, not get simple basics? i am a doormat. as in i allow anything, even if it comes at the cost of my feelings sometimes. no i am not great. just stupid. i do not open up very easy about everything. nobody can spell things out for someone to get, especially when that someone is supposed to be one of your "best friends".

some say they respect me because i'm so very "understanding". no i am human. i get hurt...and easy. in case you are still lost...yes i am feeling angry and hurt and tired.

and what am i doing about it? am i showing my anger? no. but yes, believe me, i have tried. but i suppose oblivion is a blessed state. sorry for making you read such crap. i had no other choice.

p.s.:my uncle gifted my a sleek n small music player. i am strange...i have named my phone (do not ask) and this one too. well i hate shopping, so i had to even it out somewhere! and it,no sorry he is called Iskra Spirit. it means power of the spirit. this i something i hope i can have someday... Sigh!

7 comments:

Unknown said...

yeah.i knw how it is.these ppl around u.horrible idiotic assholes who think that they know wats best for u and wen u ask them wats the meaning of mind ur own business they're absolutely clueless after all that does not exist in their dictionary.they'll do anything but mind their own business.FREAKS FRM MARS(Wat an insult to the planet;sry mr. mars.)
as for ppl hurting u and that too unintentionally is really horrible,i knw.aisaa kyu lag raha hai ki main tera blog repeat kar rahi hoon?such not only don't understand u but they are quite confused abt their own existence or anything else in their life.funny,isn't it?ok paagal aurat this i guess is enough for u.i mean i can't comment anymore...running out of words...ab forcibly karungi to yahi hoga na.

Unknown said...

oh and yes the iskra spirit is sexy...as it is i loooove black to obviously i like ur mp3.
btw yeeeeee... i m the first one to comment on this blog of urs!!!!!!!

heh? ok said...

oh dear. calm self. calm calm self. the rest of it is transient. besides, this is the perfect age for you to feel misunderstood and unfairly maligned. atleast feel happy that our relatives think you have a life. with me there is not even the whiff of any suspicion. in fact they keep goading me to get a life. sigh.

zzzzzz.... said...

haan.pata nahi kin ghasitaramo ke beech paida ho gaye hai hum.

The New Age Superhero said...

patience.. its these experiences which will help u know who are your ppl whom u can really depend upon.. you'll know whom to keep for life and whom to let go

and for the things not in ur hand.. in time you tend to learn to deal with them without lettin them bother u whatsoever!

zzzzzz.... said...

yup! now im feelin air light.which is sayin somethin if u know what i mean!

raghu said...

my ipod is aku :D
tension not people are worthless :D