Saturday, November 10, 2007

Warm and Fuzzy...me?

"love...we all want it,not all get it," said john cage of ally mcbeal. its a strange state of mind.i hate all that "you are in love when you cant sleep or eat" nonsense. that is just ill-health.this whole idea of love being out of this world is very strange.i suppose it is subjective. i have always thought of it to be a very earthy,human emotion. perfectly natural and selfish. you love someone inspite of pain. you complain of no reciprocation etc.... but you still do love. why? becacuse you want to. it always makes you feel better...less lonely somehow. so its selfish. for me atleast. to say "I love you" and claim selflessness is stupid.

there are some who beg for it, go looking for it desperately and end up in gutters. there are others who shut their doors on it. and there are some who write about it:)

"i love you to an extent where even your consent or indifference does not matter,"...Ayn Rand. my take on it. if i were to love someone and he were to say "sorry", would it change the fact that i do? no. besides, to say "I love you" is a statement, not a question. for me, love is a sacred concept. correction:MY love, as in my emotions are sacred. even more so than the person.

one-sided love hurts. but this is an emotion that teaches more than anything else. love cannot be thrown out. it has to be worn out. so why not just live it. live its moments of insanity, warmth,pain and all else to the fullest. because at the end of that road, you will be a much better person.besides, one-sided things wear off one day or another.

but people have conditions on it. they ignore it. hate it if it hurts. take it for granted if it is returned. strange...how can people ridicule their own feelings? then they listen to sad songs and feel like they have been chosen to be doomed.they claim their love was never understood.love is not meant to be understood. it is meant to be lived till it breathes.

very few people are capable of loving. of giving a part of their soul to someone else. those are lucky people. so why are only couples considered lucky? why are only permanent endings considered happy? they are not.love someone, not so you can have a coffee partner anytime you want. love someone...for the sheer pleasure and pain of it.

today someone i hold close to my heart has been touched by it. i was so happy, i was half smiling, half crying all the way here. and today another someone's hopes to an eventual deserved happy ending have died. so now i am basically confused as to what facial expression to wear!

i am strange...pretty cold and rude. but sometimes my eyes well up when i watch ally mcbeal.i almost always cry after every wonder years episode.if anyone were to love me (yeah sure!) he would need a thorough check-up.my story is pretty blurry,will always be.its fate i tell you! as for permanence..."loves dont always work out. but who made up the rule that the best ones do?" ally again.

9 comments:

heh? ok said...

ally mcbeal was my source of eternal wisdom when i was 18. so i won't worry too much about you.

The New Age Superhero said...

:)

i liked and agreed to most of it.. almost every bit of it.. but damn am an escapist.. wat to do :S.. running away from pain cz u fail to see life in cribbing.. part of life probably it is but lets just sleep over it and see the smiling sun.. selfish we all are and we will always be.. expectations then are inevitable.. hence the pain.. tryin 2 control someone/something other than us.. a mistake.. emotions kill rationality and well.. then we all go insane :S.. killing it isnt an answer, transforming it to hate is certainly not one either, fighting it and dealing with it certainly is.. adaptation they say is important for u to survive.. hope i justify the drift

zzzzzz.... said...

@anotherbrick
like i said u do sound sad but u also know how to deal wid with.a pat on d back 4rm me.good goin.

The New Age Superhero said...

haha.. its all self-inflicted this - misery, sadness, hurt, pain everything.. its important to realize this.. then its easier to deal with it.. thanks anyway.. appreciation is always appreciated :P

Punvati said...

I agree. you love because you want to, and that holds even when you don't want to.When you really want to stop because you think it would hurt less, you can't because you know you don't really want to. Because it makes you feel an ounce better. non-lonely. u said it.

One sided love you say.. its strong yes... and it has a whole different feel altogether. Intense in a helpless sort of way. it gives you just another reason to look a certain way, speak a certain way.. gives u a "what-if" in life...and yes, it hurts but only for so long.

the happy ending is uncertain and most likely unprobable (ya im a pessimist, how'd u guess?)But just the very feeling is worth it all. From me that's seen a good amount of the one sided bit and a bit of the other, its the feeling that's the most important, more so than the person...

Nice post... Might I say, you seem to be a pleasant mixture of deep and very wierd :)

zzzzzz.... said...

@divya...
if u do ever come back again,thankyou for the comment...nice and long.just the kind chocolate likes.highly appreciated.
thank u for the compliment,the wierd bit i mean.its an art u know.im sure u do.

Punvati said...

:)
absolutely. an art that makes life a hell of a lot more interesting.

Amit said...

Nice post and i do agree on all the points posted by you. You have written all these things based on true factors which you might have faced in your life. Every one have to face it, this is life where god was also notable to find its love then we are only humans. Even i have also faced it. No one can stop it from happening.So, we have to make our life pleasant by giving love and spreading love in this world.

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raghu said...

ya one sided love..yeah :P
im absolutely incapable of loving any human.. im sure of this.. i may tell u i love someone.. or you :P..but no i cant im sure.. i can want someone but i cant love..unfortunately..i simply cant :S

but ya nice post.. the kind i like.
ya nice post.. ya i re read it.