of snow-men and mittens etc...

hello there. hope you had a nice christmas. actually i had a great one so i can be smug for once! i spent the entire day with some of my best friends, but the food was obviously the best part. behold my list....pulao, mutton(all spicy and smoked and all), fried chicken, chicken curry, mashed potatoes, roast chicken, roast potatoes, chocolate soufle,blackforest cake and of course some surprisingly yummy coffee!hehheh!

shillong is a beautiful place usually. but its just wonderful in winters. incidentally, winter is my favourite time of the year. ah! the pleasure of curling up under a warm quilt at night is simply that...ah!

christmas is my most preferred festival. not that i am religious or anything (i have no energy for that). but i have always liked the idea of families gathering around christmas trees and playing in the snow,etc. but mostly i like christmas because its quiet and a time spent with family and friends minus all the bling and the noise. there is all of that, but is tolerable nonetheless.

i love taking winter-evening walks. everyone walks around with their hands in their jacket pockets with monkey-caps and sweaters. its all so cute! yes yes i know i sound like santa's wannabe helper. well its not a bad prospect considering my impending unemployment!

at dusk, if you take a walk around a neighbourhood here, you will see christmas tress shining in almost all drawing rooms and hear carols every now and then. well, the actual experience is much better than i make it sound. and shillong is heaven during winters. you wake up to a warm bright winter day, have a wonderfully chilly evening with a wonderful cup of coffee and spend your nights staring out of your window at the glittering lights on distant hills.sigh.

i guess i love the build-up to chirstmas more than the actual day. but build-ups are always more fun than the d-days. except during exams and weddings(your own). then its just an increasing scale of horror.

stomach blues.

first off, a note to all my "silent" readers. i do not need the silence. what is the point? you do not have to be the creatures of the night. just say something huh!

i watched a movie with my friends. god bless my embarrased soul. my ahem friends were bawling like babies. it should have been ok since it happens all the time. no matter what the movie, crying is a must. to top it all, one of them forgot she was not at home and started commenting loudly, things like "oh! he's got a cute butt!". i was muttering "shut up, shut up." then she said (loudly) "but its cute yaar!"

i am pretty excited about christmas this year. i have places to go to (for the first time). my new year is going to snooze...as usual. oh! sad life.

some people are having a ball about the fact that i am crushing on a celebrity and do not leave any stone unturned to insult him. they have conveniently forgotten their days of rahul dravid and nick carter. disgusting.

last night i had a horrible stomach ache. it was so bad, i was squirming and moaning in pain. and i suddenly felt so alone. i remembered how mom used to scold me, then give me medicines and i used to fall asleep holding her. last night i had no one to hold. i understood then what people mean when the say "mother's touch".

i was crying from a mixture of pain and emotions. my friend then messaged me (illegally) from her sister's phone telling me a list of do(s). cute na?

my sister called me then. after thirty minutes of nice conservation, i felt so much better. i miss my sisters a lot sometimes. i cannot belive i see them once or twice a year now when i used to see their annoying faces 24*7. i see a lot of my parents in them. now more than ever. i cannot figure how close we are. i just hope pretty much though. i guess this is how it will be:3 people,3 lives,all different.

last night i imagined holding mom and falling asleep next to her. i did. i fell asleep next to her after a long time. thank god for the stomach ache. it brought me back home.

p.s.: hey gobber and goomer (sisters) i love you both.

ARBID ONLY ARBID...

back finally.and had a horrible time away.should.have turned into a blogging traitor.just to keep you updated,i have been ill with a throat infection for some two weeks now.yes i went to a doc.was useless...yay!and for the first time,i was declared"not well enough" for my prelims...so yay yay yay!

ok so i am irritated once again.gee!its a talent i tell you!i know its normal to feel lost sometimes,like i do right now. but normal is meaningless. i have started to lose faith in a lot of things lately. cant say for sure i ever had faith in a lot of people actually. you know those times when you feel like a fool? yes i know...that is normal too. its just that i have been feeling like that a lot lately.

life is full of pain...or so people say. then why can one not just get used to it. why do the same things hurt again and again with the same magnitude if not more. and what is one supposed to do again and again?

i see,feel things slipping from me.everything that i have known,understood...slipping away. how do you get back your self respect? i was never a big fan of me, and i like myself lesser and lesser every time. no these are not teenege pangs (dear sis). this is the after effect of letting people walk over you.

i miss my father a lot. he took pride in what he was. i know now how hard that is a thing to do. i just regret the fact that he was not there long enough to teach me that. i do not think he is too proud of me right now. i am not complaining, i have never given him reason to actually. but i know he loves me all the same. its a rare thing...unconditional love. but there is a quote from the Wonder Years that makes me happy about him. it goes....

"some things are deeper than time and distance.And your father will always be your father...And he will always leave a light on for you."