Its a Start....

A very intimidated hello to the blogging world.its taken many, many nerve soothing talks and a week of unfortunate events amounting to unimaginable frustration for me to finally start a blog of my own.you see im not very strong when it comes to taking criticism...hence the nerves.but now things have come to a point where i desperately need a vent...hence the sudden courage.besides i figure writing is about expressing youself...so what the heck?
if ur still reading then god bless you.i want my 1st post to be about my life so far.so if you think you have the patience then read on...
i am the youngest of 3 sisters (the elder 2 of whom are quite accomplished might i add).growing up with siblings can be quite a pain.but fortunately i had quite a nice time with these two...lucky i guess.
right from the start i was "daddy's little girl" through and through.he's spoilt me according to many (thanks 4 that dad!).i guess its safe to say that he was my 1st "best mate".he'd come home from work and i would sit on his lap and talk of everything...from how barbies are so essential for a child to why the boy next door got grounded for that day.and he'd listen on and on...my hero dad.
i was never so close to ma though.i was mortally scared of her.she was the one with a firm hand...which felt pretty hard every time it fell on my poor cheeks(and there were countless such incidents).but shed make me the prettiest dresses in the world.she liked dressing me up,ma.i was fed on the loveliest bengali dishes thanks to her.oh and she was BEAUTIFUL.(ma,where did your genes go exactly?)
i think my sisters deserve a mention...oh i provided them some entertainment all right.i remember at the age of 4 searching for ma's "permission" in her purse, because my sisters said that permission was a red something in her bag.mom scolded me for ransacking her purse (i think she thought i had turned juvenile at 4) only to find those devils having a good laugh at me.they have kissed my poor cheeks so many times,they v gone numb now.
dad passed away when i was 11.seems ages now.a different lifetime somehow.after that, ma and i sort of fell apart.the sisters moved away.it was just me and ma.at a point things got so bad that we could hardly utter sentences without pinching words.i remember crying myself to sleep for letting that happen.but next morning,it would start all over again.
last year ma also passed away.we realised what we had lost a little too late.and now i spend my nights fathoming exactly how much i love and miss her.wish i could tell her that and a million "sorries" to boot.
so now its just us...me and my devils.but we'll get through.we dont exactly parade the love,but we all know its there.i live in shillong,practically alone,awaiting my turn to join my sisters.man i miss them.i dont know what ive turned out to be,but ive still got time i guess.i know im full of mistakes,but not all that bad either.i dont know if i like me,but i hope one day i will.
ok,long enough for the first post.if you are still reading...bless you!how did you last i wonder...don't answer that.so till next time(if there is one) bye,take care and thanks again...i'll improve...i swear!